The Ego of Power Is Fragile: How to Navigate Bosses and Gatekeepers in Your Career

The Ego of Power Is Fragile: How to Navigate Bosses and Gatekeepers in Your Career

Let’s be honest. In every organisation, we dream of rising through the ranks with grace, grit, and maybe a little glitter. We imagine our hard work will speak for itself, our visibility will open doors, and our leverage will seal the deal. But here’s the twist: career growth isn’t just about merit, it’s about managing power.

And power, my dear reader, has an ego - a fragile one.

Gatekeepers: The Necessary Evil of Career Growth

In the workplace, your boss isn’t just your supervisor, they’re the gatekeeper of your progress. Some are warm, open, and generous with credit. Others? Let’s just say dealing with them feels like walking barefoot on gravel in the midday sun.

You’re not just navigating your boss’s moods, you’re also dodging the ambitions of colleagues who, like you, are trying to survive. It’s a jungle. And in this jungle, ego is the lion.

The Higher the Rank, the Softer the Ego

Here’s the paradox: the more powerful someone becomes, the more delicate their ego tends to be. Yes, everyone has an ego. But the ego of power is like glass, it shines, but it shatters easily. So what do you do? You learn the art of strategic humility. That’s right. Sometimes, you’ll need to apologise for your boss’s mistake. Sometimes, you’ll need to let them bask in the glory of your idea.

The Wisdom of "Netsɔ̃": Knowing When to Exit

An Ewe saying that captures essential workplace wisdom: when your boss invites you to eat, say thank you and leave. In my language, we call it netsɔ̃; in French, it's bon appétit. The principle? Know when to exit gracefully. Don't overstay your welcome in your boss's presence. Don't mistake a temporary gesture of generosity for permanent intimacy. Don't confuse being invited into proximity with being granted equality. Express genuine gratitude for opportunities, recognition, or rare moments of personal connection. Then remove yourself before you inadvertently offend the fragile ego by staying too long, speaking too freely, or forgetting the power differential that always exists, regardless of how casual the moment feels.

Culture Matters: Power Is Not Handled the Same Everywhere

Let’s not forget the cultural twist. In Ghana, it’s taboo to look elders in the eye. Parents rarely apologise. Authority is seldom questioned. And guess what? That same cultural script plays out in the workplace. Your boss is never wrong. Your boss takes the glory. And your survival depends on how well you massage the ego of power. But in other cultures? I’ve had a boss from abroad apologise to me multiple times. Another made me tea with her own hands. Different context, different rules.

“Power wears different clothes in different cultures. Learn the fabric before you tailor your approach.”

A Radical Thought: What If We Refused?

Here's where I want to push beyond survival strategies into something more provocative: what would happen if a critical mass of talented professionals refused to manage fragile executive egos? What if we collectively decided that our energy is better spent on excellent work than on elaborate dances around insecurity? I don't have the answer. I'm not sure I dare to embody this refusal in my own career fully. But I think the question itself is important. Because every system that depends on the complicity of those it oppresses contains within it the possibility of transformation. Not an easy transformation. Not risk-free transformation. But a transformation nonetheless.

For Now: Navigate Wisely, but Keep Your Eyes Open

Until we build workplaces where power doesn't require constant ego maintenance, here's my advice:

Learn the rules. Understand the power dynamics in your specific context. Observe how successful people navigate relationships with leadership. Study what gets rewarded and what gets punished.

Play the game strategically. Protect your career while you build the skills, reputation, and resources that will eventually give you more options.

But don't internalise it. Remember that having to manage fragile egos doesn't mean those egos deserve managing. The game you're playing is not the same as reality. Your boss's need for constant affirmation doesn't reflect your actual worth or their actual competence.

Build alternatives when you can. Mentor younger colleagues in navigating these dynamics. Create spaces, even small ones, where power operates differently. Plant seeds for the organisational cultures you want to see, even as you navigate the cultures that currently exist.

Know when to leave. Sometimes the cost of staying true to your integrity, mental health, or professional development exceeds any benefit. It's okay to decide that a particular environment isn't worth what it demands of you.

The Final Word: Netsɔ̃

The fragile ego of power is real, and it shapes careers in ways we rarely acknowledge publicly. Whether you choose to bow, avoid, strategically manage, or eventually refuse, make that choice consciously, understanding both its costs and its possibilities.

And remember: when invited to the boss's table, eat with gratitude, say thank you, and know when to leave.

Netsɔ̃.

What has been your experience navigating power dynamics at work? What strategies have you found effective? What costs have you paid? Let's continue this conversation. Could you send me your thoughts?